Feeling like the ground disappeard under my feet Two letters and a poem by Srila Guru Maharaj on account of the sudden passaway of Rasastali devi dasi, Saraswati devi dasi and Rupa Manjari devi dasi -- three dear mothers of our family.

First letter

Puerto Rico, Saturday 26th of May 2007

My dear parents and devotees,

It is half past one in the morning here in Puerto Rico when I recieve the phone call from B.V. Giri Maharaj from Argentina, with the information that three of my dearest spiritual daughters have been taken away from this world by a gas accident, apparently from a heater.

These three mothers are mother Rasastali devi dasi, the president of the Vishnu Priya Ashram in Buenos Aires, her secretary mother Sarasvati devi dasi, who were about to go to the airport to visit her parents in Mexico, and mother Rupa Manjari devi dasi, who was a devotee engaged in many special services like preaching in sign language for the dumbs. These three women had a very special purity. In my heart it is hard to accept that they are no longer among us. It is a very big loss for this world.

They were so devoted that they touched the heart of anyone they knew. Since death is far beyond our control and it is Krishna himself, I can only express my lack of understanding with the dispiritedness of this situation. Krishna is the controller, and if He wanted to bring these souls to His world, there is nothing we can do and we cannot condemn Him for it. We just know for sure that they were very surrendered to Krishna with a lot, a lot of love.

Rasastali was with me some days ago in Brazil and we talked a lot. As always, she was full of love and responsibility. About these three one can really imagine that they were too good for this world and that Krishna wanted to bring their souls directly to His world. Because only in this way, a disaster like this at least is a great relief.

Sarasvati was the perfecion of the chase girl. She just wanted to know who to serve better, and this was her journey since she came from Mexico years ago. She is the daughter of the friends of my soul, Pariksit prabhu and Narayani devi dasi. They sent her to me with full confidence. I am so sorry that they could not take her again in their arms after so many years of dedicated loving service in Buenos Aires and Tucuman. All afflicted, please accept my deepest condolences. I share with you in the indescribable pain of your souls.

Rupa Manjari always exploded with her natural enthusiasm to serve. Really nice devotees, very exemplary. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how I can be happy without them. They conquered the hearts of everyone they knew. They were the heart of the worship of Sri Sri Radha Madan Mohan, the conquirer of Cupido himself.

Be strong my dear children and parents. We all have to leave from here one day, and it is only the love of Krishna that is our common destination. This destination, which the mothers desired so much, so much. May your hearts find comfort with me, united in this meditation.

Rasastali, Sarasvati, Rupa Manjari, pray for us, to be well forever and let us follow your example in service. I could speak much here of the glories of my daughters, but this will be later. Now we need moments to unite all of us in personal sadness for their unexpected departure from our world.

Krishna Hari, the brother of Sarasvati is in Buenos Aires. Receive a very big and special hug. In this moment I would like to cry with you for such a perfect sister. I end this letter now for prayer and meditation in our Lord and His dear daughters. Support those who suffer with a vision from the eternal plane.

Second letter

My dear devotees, mothers,

Please accept my blessings.

We are lamenting the departure of our dear daughters that Krishna brought to Him. To leave the world in Krishna consciousness is a great benediction and the sentiments of these mothers were quite intense.

With these lines I turn to the mothers of the Vishnu Priya ashrams and tell you of my feelings for my dear daughters who just recently disappeared.

I received so much love for them, that I don’t know what to compare with. No doubt, they knew how terrible this world is.

Sarasvati was about to travel to Mexico to meet her family and me. It is all unimaginable, I feel like paralyzed. Narayani and Pariksit prabhu had such a special daughter that Krishna Himself wanted to bring her and not let her suffer more in this material world. Her example was to listen the call from the spiritual world and go directly.

Sarasvati always said to me: “Pita, I will to what you want me to do”. Imagine, i know her since she was born and after when she decided to go to South America, what a warrior!!!

Rasastali suffered a lot, but she decided to be strong and serve Krishna. Her will was impressing, her love as a daughter and devotee was so nice that she could maintaing the Academy with everything.

Rupa Manjari was exuberant devotion. Her feelings were so strong that she almost couldn’t restrain them, and everything for Krishna. An amazing mother; by her love she dedicated much to the dumbs and we had plans to make videos for dumbs with her. She lost her father ten days before she left the world.

I can imagine how it is in Buenos Aires without life, at least without them one must feel this way. It is only the vaishnava love is worth anything to always die to live. This makes me feel that they died to live forever.

This is the most painful day of my life. Fortunately, though, a spiritual world do exist, without that I would get crazy. Normally I maintain this security of faith, but today I feel like I have no ground under my feet.

Krishna had a plan for them, to bring them quickly from this world, now we can just to hope and wait for Krishna to bring us there too, to the family that is located only in the spiritual world, because here there there are pure disasters. One day we will all meet there and we will be eternally happy. How nice to think of this, and it has to be so. But anyway, we don’t understand it, because here with them we made so many plans for Krishna, but I cannot be angry with my Lord. He knows what He is doing, and obeying is all one can do.

I feel like a part of my heart were torn out. To leave this world, one knows it is like that, but one does not want to see his children die. Another part of my heart is of you. If Krishna has them, that is better. This is certainly so – die to live is our life, and in this way we remember them, always happy in their services, always. They were the life of the temple. Now we can just think of the joy, the love, of the sweetness of the Lord, and of the pain also.

I am not in the mood for anything, but i have to give strength to others. Thinking of the struggling mothers of the Vishnu priyas uplifts my mood again. The love from the devotees always maintains me and these three mothers were exactly like that, pure love.

How Krishna is doing the things! One feels so secure, and in just a moment Krishna is all what is left for us. It seems that in the sadness the longing to come to Him is intensified, and when he brought these pure devotees, He pulls all of us in this direction.

I want that others could write their words of the departure of them too. In Sunday chat we can chant the glories of these mothers.

Thank you Damodhar Maharaj and mother Mahamrita for going to support the mothers in Chile too. How nice isn’t this web of love of the Vishnu Priya Ashram. This web lost these so very valuable souls. But fortunately they are now our handle in the spiritual world together with our Gurus and Srila Bhakti Bhimala Harijan Maharaj. ------------------------------------

THE SOUL NEVER DIES

The soul never dies
The soul is alive
The soul can only love
All that which is above

One day the sky was opened
And an ivitation was pronounced
– Do not lose time there
Come now to be by My side

Therefore they have to leave
Even the body of flesh
But only the soul is off
Without leaving a sign

It is the infinite Lord
Who conducts the whole drama
Himself being the refuge
Beyond the temporal

It is so nice that people like us can, by Krishna grace, have a common wish and plan and target and destination. Only in this way life is bareable, and this is my impulse for preaching: Hey, we can be together in eternity! Let’s go for it and also be together, at least in spirit, from now on.

In life there is only one way – foreward. Otherwise you have to go the same distance again when you want to turn into the right direction. That is a fact, and unless we are out of our mind, we will go foreward.

We will remember these thre mothers who were so strong and dedicated, and they loved each other so much. It was always impressing. Thus it is also in their direction that we must be strong and increase our love for others in what we can.

Always your well-wisher,
Swami B.A. Paramadvaiti

Translation: Manah Siksa dd