By Swami B.A. Paramadvaiti
Translation: Manahsiksa Devi Dasi

Vrindavan, Friday December 6, 2002

Dear devotees,

Please accept my blessings and a big hug form Vrindavan Dham.

Srila Prabhupada taught us to live in a consciousness as if this were our last day. The tendency in out lives is that we are invaded by superficiality, and Krishna consciousness, well practiced, is the medicine exactly against this superficiality. Two brothers can be fighting, but if they in this very moment realize that one of them will go away and never return again, they will immediately stop fighting and instead embrace each other as never before. In the same way it is with separation or the threat of separation, a great realizer. It makes us reflect about everything.

Srila Bhakti Raksaka Sridhar Maharaj compared surrender with throwing oneself out into the unknown, and leave behind the false security that exists in this world of karma and jñana. A world where you control, or rather think that you control, what you do. A world of scepticism, of mental analysing, of calculating about advantages and disadvantages, of madness I can save myself from, by my intellectual power. While karma and jñana infatuate us, the surrender will be nothing but theory, and the taste of bhakti cannot manifest fully. Suddenly we get a gratuitous sample, a glimpse and an idea, as an invitation to all colours in the word of bhakti, but later an insecurity, loneliness, because of our egoism.

So the surrender is the medicine, but it takes a giant quantity of faith to accept it in the heart. And the Guru and the Vaishnavas are the voices from the infinite, that assures us and encourage us: "Jump! Throw yourself out! The tiger of Maya will catch you soon. She will swallow you once again! Jump! Don't worry! You will be well received!" The loving embrace of the Lord will never abandon those who jeopardize for Him. Surrender means to develop the best qualities as possible. Try to be the person you most of all would like to meet, and this means to hasten away form all inferior conceptions.

The world of Maya has millions of inferior conceptions. Usually, when we think that w are advancing in the material world, we are simply changing one inferior conception for another one. From one prejudice to another. From one sect to another. From one folly to another. Always faithful to our fundamental inclinations as conditioned souls. Conceptions influenced by atheism, or by our envy against God Himself. Surrender is a gem, and he, who tries to surrender to Krishna and His devotees, will immediately become a jewel himself. Rough in the beginning, but the Vaishnavas are excellent stone polishers with their conferences and their discipline.

So there is automatically progress in the association with the devotees, and when we really take refuge to the instructions of our spiritual master, a blending crystal gem will be visible - the gem called Bhakti from the inner of our heart.

When walking on the streets of Vrindavan, i always become overwhelmed, once after the other, by a feeling of thankfulness. It is so easy to forget what we have, or that we have to appreciate it, that when I hear about on or another devotee who has fallen, I remember a phrase saying: "You don't know what you have, until you have lost it". This deeply frightens me. What if, in order to get everything, one loses the appreciation for the divine, an once again begins to be curious about the world of exploitation? Frankly spoken: I have seen that many devotees, from many missions and not only our own, have slipped by the reason to have started to glance on the grass on the other side, as if the grass wouldn't be the same.

Life is what it is, and everywhere it is tapasya. Tapasya in sincerity means progress, but an unthankful mentality with an inclination to explore or exploit the resources around, with vestiges of selfish interests, will lead to failure. The Vaishnava culture, the teachings of the Supreme, emphasize the search for the spiritual ideals without material compromises, the absolute fidelity to the spiritual ideals and the acquired compromises, prescribed duties, executed with enthusiasm and hard work to become perfect in one's duties, are certainly stages to realize substance and to take big steps in spiritual progress.

To not accomplish one's duties, places oneself quickly in the category of indifference or worse… insolence, inactivity and a cause to sadness of the others.

I have seen many devotees who personally were very sympathetic, but who were irresponsible in their obligations towards the temple, towards spiritual practice, towards their family, towards the promises they made, and like that they quickly enter a space one could call: "the unfortunates".

There is always this possibility to fall, and the fall doesn't necessarily mean to break the principles, since this already is the height of not accomplishing the duty. In Bhagavad-Gita, chapter 16, are described the 6 qualities in the mood of ignorance, beginning with dambho. On this list, we find pride, anger and harshness. Imagine! They are called demoniac characteristics!

Self-examination has to make us each time to accept that we have some of these symptoms, that we still have something strong of the demoniac. Imagine, always when the devotees are fighting, they are not fighting for holiness; they have nothing but an upset false ego, the old asura inside, who wants to skin and deceive us. This makes me pray: "Lord of my heart, Patita Pavana, Friend of the fallen, have mercy on me. Your maul is also a protection, but I wish to be able to learn things and keep firm and grateful, so you do not have to teach me by your maul".

A spiritual brother said one day to Gurudev Atulanada: "It is almost impossible to keep the faith on one's Guru for many years". With this he wanted to justify his neglecting life style. Many devotees are following the instructions of their spiritual master, cooperate a little, go to classes, chant rounds, construct an altar in their house, and then after some years they get tired, yet they are even them who get tired after some months! And then they start to find out: "What did I get out of this process? I am still here suffering".

When you ask yourself why they change that Krishna consciousness causes in you, is not visible, you can answer like this: Because you have to struggle very hard to remove the rest of the garbage mountain that you have.

Then you shall not forget that a true devotee never feels like a devotee; he feels like wishing to be a devotee some day by mere mercy. When the young mad, after 6 months, is already convinced that there is no other religious person like him in the whole world, that it even in his own devotional family are few so serious like him, and some years later he even thinks that neither his spiritual master understands the things as well as he does. And this is nothing strange… it is rather quite common. It is the last trap of the false ego, and it is represented by Kesi, the horse demon. The idea of being a good devotee and to be a great sannyasi or guru, is demoniac.

You know the funny analogy that I often use: "The one who thinks himself to be a guru, is a kangaroo (kanguru), hopping away without getting anywhere", until Krishna gets tired with this mentality, especially when it is accompanied by arrogance and bad treating of other devotees (with or without reason), and Krishna reveals the defects of this person, by a disgraceful fall… purna musiko bhave… once again a rat.

Faith is a precious gift, it is the pure dominion of the most adored Srimati Radharani, and She is increasing this gift, only when She sees that we are firm regarding gratefulness and when it is about compassion for others. If this is missing, we are disqualified. Even if we do not fall, we make no progress. Therefore this mission is a mission of mercy; to have compassion for all of them who do not know about Krishna. And December marathon is nothing but an excuse to come to the maximum amount of people as possible, with nectar from our spiritual master.

Month of December, when the wish to consume increases among people, the expectation to be able to buy something that can make them happy, to desperately squander their savings to find peace from their constantly frustrated desires, there appears the merciful devotee with a Bhagavad-Gita or a CD-rom about yoga, or at least with music by prabhu Akarma, and manage to penetrate the home of this soul with spiritual sound and message; gifts form Vrindavan to the home of the drunkard, of the prostitute, of the butcher, with unconditional mercy. This was the spirit of my Spiritual Mater, and for the most devoted, the marathon does not stop in December. The spirit remains during all the year, and they are very willing to take more and more responsibility, to unselfishly organize the distribution of mercy. They search for opportunities to give lectures about Krishna every day… anywhere! And they organize the temples in such a special way; they open a possibility to devotional service for all souls who are coming, if so there is only a little willingness to serve Krishna. They create an irresistible atmosphere in the temple, of a loving family where everybody has a chance to create, without prejudices or elite thinking, a family of mercy, the true representatives of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and His unique prescriptions.

Many people in human history, like Kavir, Gandhi, Lenin and others, have strongly preached against the class system in human society, or rather, against the abuse of one class on the other, but it is only Lord Caitanya who scientifically has explained the karmic function of the casts and the way to transcend these karmas. For example; a person who commits a crime, will be judge for it, this is normal and correct. But imagine, there is a consciousness, which is so wonderful, that it gives us access to the amnesty department of karma, where nobody else has access, but that is open for all who want, for all who sing the holy names of the Lord with sincere longing, and try to serve the devotees of the Lord.

What is now dangerous in the spiritual life, is most of all the ignorance, negligence, the mentality to want instead of to give, and this mentality is what we all bring with us, we conditional souls. We should not be here to take, take, take and get angry if someone tells us that we have to give - quite contrary. We excuse us with pretexts, hide behind the defects of others, like in the case with the thieves of the enterprises: when you are going to expose their cheatings, the get offended to distract and get out of the theme.

It is a fact that we have to be careful, and Dharma means to never ever fail. It is something very beautiful. It is a gift that comes when we become aware of what Srila Prabhupada has done for us, the revolutionary that he has done. This nice spiritual family that Srila Prabhupada gave to me, is an obvious proof of this, and the gift of the presence of the vaishnavism all over the world. Jay Srila Prabhupada, the only light who appeared in the material world with such a great tenderness, so unknown, when he brings all of them who want to be brought, to a very confidential world. A world of true love.

An embrace from my heart to all of you.

Goura Premanandi!! Hari bol

Always your well-wisher,
Swami B.A. Paramadvaiti