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B.A. Paramadvaiti Swami:

My tender respects to everyone. Blessings in Srila Prabhupada and the holy name of Krishna for you. The Vrinda family, ki! Jay!

This morning we are chatting live from Medellin temple, in contact with 51 temples of the Vrinda family. We arrived in Medellin once again, to join our beautiful Vaisnava family in Colombia. Very often we chant songs by great Vaisnavas like Srila Narottama das Takura. These wonderful songs contain an unlimited wealth of pure devotees' feelings. It is impressive and is confirmed over and over again, in all writings by all Vaisnavas, that one's feeling about oneself, is that they regret their condition of being away from Krishna. They also reveal the reasons why they feel away from Him. They feel attacked by lust, greed, etc. They also hint that the last material desire must become spiritual. And that when tears come out of the eyes upon chanting the holy name, it means that we are receiving the grace of Nityananda prabhu and taking large steps.

That is why I have titled today's chat, "When, oh when will we weep for Krishna". Even Lord Caitanya Himself longed for this state. Once He said, I don't love Krishna, and the proof is that I live.

In this world many people have killed themselves because they could not have the love they longed for. I have not achieved His love, which I long for. And I am still alive. This must make us reflect very much. The acaryas obviously want to teach us something. This teaching is confidential, for those with a false ego. In other words, one must understand the message of true humility, when one is looking for other people's weakness in order to exploit them. An exploiter will listen to the song "gopinatha" and will think, "Who is this Bhaktivinoda Thakur, weeping all over the place? He lacks self esteem". Or any other crazy thought, which may occur in the mind of somebody who does not understand that a Vaisnava's wealth is his faith that Krishna will protect him. And he feels so much protection from the company of other devotees, that in his very feeling of getting upset at his own inadequacies he feels an ecstasy of reaching the right goal. This cannot be understood by somebody who does not even understand that we are not the body, or someone who feels superior to others because of cast or creed or any other prejudice. Those who are infatuated with the exploitation of others, or indifferent to the call of Lord Krishna, sarve sukena... to work so that all people will find spiritual happiness, and whoever is just interested in their own salvation is suspended in their chance to enter Vaisnava mysticism. They are like different worlds. When will that day come, when I shall obtain the pure name?

Feeling Krishna's mercy, feeling His presence, being able to appreciate the difference between prasadam and vulgar food, this is all a gift. Srada Devi, Srimati Radharani, is the one who gives us faith in the guru, in bhakti, in devotional service. This faith is nobody's property, and upon taking an inadequate attitude that does not please Srimati Radharani, you may even lose that faith. When a devotee feels tears coming up his eyes upon hearing some special nectar related to Krishna or his devotees, this devotee speaks to his own mind; a deceiving mind that wants to pass for a great devotee. But those tears are false, just to fake a devotee in front of others. How could those be tears, if he is attracted to sex or envious of what others have? Do not be disturbed in your service by those false symptoms of ecstasy, even though the symptoms may be genuine and the devotee may reject them and hide them in front of people.

A devotee was fanning the air to Krishna, and suddenly he felt an ecstasy that made his arm trembling and distract him from his service, and the devotee rejected this ecstatic feeling that intervened his service. On the other hand, forgive me my total frankness here, there are some who talks of their Krishna and their loving sentiments for Him, or suddenly they fall to the floor in a kirtan or make some show of bhava, as if they were more advanced than Srila Prabhupada. There is a hidden sahajism within each conditioned soul, a new show. In this world there are people who can open their shedding of tears as if it were a key of water, at any time they wish. It is observed that women are talented in this, but I know men with the same capacity. It is just that the men are more ashamed to achieve their goals with false weeping. In children one can see this talent very often. As soon they do not get what they want, they cry, and whey they get it, they stop crying. It seems that everyone almost were born as the perfect shajiyas.

And Bhaktivinoda Thakur and SP did not talk about this weeping, otherwise many people I know would already be pure devotees for the amount of weeping they can perform. The spiritual life is sought by the uninterrupted, non-motivated judgement. If we see these two symptoms in a devotee, we can perceive that in his nature he is very ecstatic. When, oh when will that day come, when we will stop being imitationists, and not tolerate, under any circumstances, that someone else be put in anxiety or sadness? When we will lovingly fight for love, since fighting for love is not contradictory in Krishna consciousness?

Even though the word fight may be confused with some kind of violence, our fighting means not stopping to beat our mind hard, not betraying our ideals of taking very good care of others' feelings. The sensitivity to other people's well-being is not easy to find, the most common symptom is to be hypersensitive with oneself and brutish with others. When, oh when will this anartha leave us?

Our soul is helpless in a way. Endowed by Lord Krishna with free will, submitted to the strict action and reaction laws, the soul has the chance to express its regret and beg for divine forces. For this request to be taken into account, the soul must do everything possible.

Success or failure is decided by Paramatma. No judgement in this world can give justice to all criteria, nobody can understand someone else completely, and more, we cannot even understand ourselves. We are thrust among maya's waves that pull us and throw us from one place to the other. If someone wants to claim they have control over all this, we may certify her maha illusion. All we can do in this world is to implore, with the deepest sincerity in our hearts, that our case is transferred from maha maya's table to yoga maya's, even inviting the maul, when it may be necessary, to think things over.

The true devotee understands the Vaisnavas' message in their songs. His heart becomes gentle and he feels the maximum regret for all moments when he caused anxiety to others. Enriched by his tenderness and the realization of his dependence on divine protection, he becomes a good sankirtanist. He becomes an instrument of Krishna's love to all others. And I guarantee that he does not think "It is to my credit that somebody has become a devotee, or that this temple has laksmi or any other successful accomplishment". Even though he is empowered by Krishna to accomplish wonderful projects, he feels disqualified and wants to give credit to all devotees, rejecting from his heart, "That was not me". If he was involved somehow, it is simply because Krishna is such an expert, "Krishna can get nice milk from a heart of stone like mine".

Quite contrary, if another person appreciates some accomplishment in Vaisnava work, but ignores the important contribution of some individual who took part in the project, this devotee never gets angry, knowing well that only Krishna knows the truth about everything, and it will go on this way forever. How many devotees get scarcely a word of praise for their service! Most devotees just eat, but do not ask themselves who cooked, or who organized the daily harinam in the temple. How much struggle, how much organization, in the permanence of a daily harinam as they have here in Medellin Almost never failing, even when it rains. When I arrived from hote nutibara's conference, the devotees were dancing in the middle of the rain, they seemed not to be turned off even by the rain.

In the same way, the sankirtanist who goes out to the streets sacrificing himself all over, entering liquor stores and slaughterhouses to deliver his guru's message, is a dedicated soul and apparently anonymous. Suddenly in the temple someone says "Glory to the sankirtanists! Glories to Krishna das who distributed many books", and he feels happy. Equally, very often, of the mercy of being able to preach, of being able to give a conference about Krishna consciousness or taking part in a kirtan in the temple, very often influenced by our false ego, we forget everything Krishna does for us, and become unbearable complainers, and if somebody asks us why we get so angry, we show some other aspect, the touchy.

All this for not having read the acharyas' songs; for not having set our hearts to transformation. This transformation can only take place by association with advanced acharyas. Only they can awaken an appreciation for all this. Devotees of this kind can make you feel like weeping, when you know they will be away for a long while. When you love someone and this person is away, it is supposed that you feel sad. That is why I sometimes ask the devotees "Who are the devotees who are important to your heart. Do they exist or could it be that you respect nobody?"

If you want to know how you are doing in consciousness in the community, this is very easy to find out. You go to the temple president and you say "I want to leave." If they start to weep and beg you not to go, then you must be doing something good. And if you are asked if you need any money for your ticket, then you know you must have an infernal mind. So easy to find out. That is where you find the crude reality.

If the devotees are happy to see your presence, this is the thermometer of Gouranga and Nitiananda's appreciation. If the devotees are angry with you, and of course I mean the serious, dedicated devotees, take it as a sign that the material fever is putting your spiritual life in danger. When, oh when will the day come, when we can understand this, when we will apply the transcendental science so that the deficiencies within us will be eliminated, little by little, since we can not wipe them all at once? Though if Krishna wants to, he can grant all the mercy at once, but all rights are reserved to Him, one cannot demand. As soon as one demands, then it looks like you didn't understand anything in the acharyas' songs. Mercy is not demanded, it is begged for.

The service of correcting others is one of the most delicate services; correcting is an art. It is an art, very expertly taught by Lord Krishna Himself. If you observe how delicately he corrects Arjuna's illusion in the BG, how lovingly, with how much knowledge, how much dedication, and without taking Arjuna's free will away, you may realize what correcting someone else is all about. That is why this service can only be taken by the most advanced people; those who have a gigantic compassion for others, understand the sensitivity of others and are truly humbly recognizing their own inadequacies in the style of the Vaisnava acharyas; those who maintain their Vaisnava humility even when correcting others.

But if you take a look at reality, God's creation, people get married at 22 or 25 and become other creature's parents, teachers, gurus, or in Krishna consciousness they may very quickly become temple presidents. This is a sign that Krishna wants us to prepare in an intensive course. In the short life of kali, there is no time to prolong the issue. You cannot afford to postpone your spiritual rendition for an illusory future. You do not know if you will still be in this body of yours tomorrow. Do not postpone humility please. Assume the invitation Krishna has extended to us to enter the miracles of the mysticism of His love, by taking part of His divine plan to animate others with the devotional practice of Krishna's holy name. So, "When, oh when will I forget my personal interests", said Bhaktivinoda Thakur, "and preach to others with all my heart and love?"

Always grinding the same matters. I just read a phrase: The good things must be constantly repeated, since the bad ones are talked about non-stop. Therefore I hope that you do not get fed up my efforts to convince you that the procedures among Vaisnavas must be loving, especially in hard moments and during the tribulations of the several klesas, or sufferings produced by this world.

Always your well-wisher,
Swami B.A. Paramadvaiti

Guru Atulananda:

Jay, I want to greet all the devotees and I hope that you are very well, animated in the preaching and in following our gurus.

Well, Gurudeva Paramadveti has asked me to give you some words. The topic today was very important: Learn to cry for Krishna. As Gurudeva Paramadveti said once: We do not cry when we are not at Mongol Artik, but if we lose 50 dollars we cry. When mother Saci saw Mahaprabhu come to take his prasadam, she did not accept this as real. She thought that maybe a dog had entered to the altar and eaten the offering. In this way the Vaisnavas are very strict to not accept their ecstasy.

Srila Prabhupada prevented us very much in this, because in our raja-guna we desire very much quick results and we forget that we should not even expect results. The result should be for Krishna, the satisfaction of Krishna, not ours. This is gopi. If you want to be gopi, you will never be gopi. Because a gopi never has her own desires. One gopi can become a plant: tulasi. Another can become a river, what Krishna wants. This takes a lot for us to understand this. Therefore we should start to be dasas, servants, in a very simple category. As Sridhar Maharaja said: Distant service for us is the surest. From a distant service we will be learning to become true servants without a trace of ego. Sridhar Maharaja said that it can take us many lives to get rid of a capital of ego. In this way one has to be very humble and patient and also grateful for being able to already be engaged in His service.

We are fortunate to be able to preach the glories of Mahaprabhu in the shade of Srila Prabhupada. I think this is more than enough. If someone does not feel it this way, it is because he is not doing sufficient for his guru. At the feet of our guru we find everything that Krishna wants to give. Everything will come at its moment.

So, being patient and humble, everything will be revealed. Yasya deve para bhaktir … if someone has true faith in Guru and Krishna, all the sastra and the Absolute Truth will be revealed.

To learn to cry for Krishna means, that we must take complete responsibility in our service. We must learn to cry to serve. For us Krishna means to serve Krishna, because this is our only possible relation with Him. If you want to be with Krishna, but not to serve Him, you will be a cheater. Therefore our relation is through the service. This means that the Vaisnavas are those who guarantee our relation with Krishna. If I see Krishna but have no service, I find this just fugitive, but if I can guarantee service, my relation will be eternal and secure, even if it comes from afar, a flower, a fruit or water, in this humble way. "If you want to jump from one to a gopi, you just will have the green fruit of the tree", says Bhaktivinoda Thakur. He says that you have to climb from one branch to the other until you reach the mature fruit that are higher up.

And this is sadhana bhakti. Bhakti is for the simple and sincere; for those that take the path that the guru has indicated. Srila Prabhupada used to say: Do the things as I have done them, do not complicate them. He gave the example. Wishing to complicate the things is to not trust the process of bhakti. The holy name is sufficient, sadhu sanga and seva. This is sufficient, made with love for others, with a desire to serve. It is something natural, one cannot make any artificial effort, because there everything becomes artificial.

Translation: Ramananda Das
and Manah Siksa Devi Dasi
manahsiksa@vrinda.info